VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
