Pants 0. Shit 1.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
