Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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