You don't have asthma, your pregnant
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
