laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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