i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
