Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He felt like a one man threesome
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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