Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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