you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
