My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
