no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
