i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
