I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
