Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
