I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
