Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
