you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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