I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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