whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
