This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
