Too much gin, very little bucket
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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