i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
