i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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