just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
4 words: hood of his car
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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