party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
