was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
