Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just found puke in my bra..
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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