He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
