i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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