So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
