Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
