We need to rekindle our bromance
she pinky promised me she was 18
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
