Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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