Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
