I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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