Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
