that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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