Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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