Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize