This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
