so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
