Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My Higher Power is John Stamos
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
