Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
