I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
