If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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