just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
