so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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