Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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