I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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