My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
