If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
