glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
