just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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