Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
