No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
