can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
