@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So much Jack, so little girl.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
