Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
