If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
