i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
