she takes plan B like it's going out of style
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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