I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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