I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
