The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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