do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
