This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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