A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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